Post by Hulk Fatass on Oct 7, 2009 13:21:52 GMT
The show opens in the backyard of a house. Nearly 12... 12 and a half, that's a kid... people gave their pennies away to watch this. The cameras film the Ring Announcer in the center of the ring, with a mic.
Ring Announcer - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first edition of Journey Of Bu...
Of a sudden, the mic stops working. An embarassed stagehand quickly gives him another.
Ring Announcer - Welcome to Journey Of Bullshit Wrestling's Wednesday Night Stink!
The crowd slowly claps, bored.
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall... And it is for the JOBBER'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing the judges, first... Mr. Fatass' mother Linda!
The crowd doesn't react.
Ring Announcer - Experienced jobbing judge... William Irvine!
Two or three people clap.
Ring Announcer - Experienced ventriloquist, Mike Evers with a Kanye West puppet!
The crowd, distracted, cheers to the mention of Kanye West.
Ring Announcer - Introducing the challengers... From New York City... DOCTOR JOBAROONIE!
A guy in a doctor's costume signals the crowd, inside the ring. Another guy enters without anyone noticing.
Ring Announcer - And from Miami, FL... Kyle Sync Mask ONE!!!!
A guy with a Kyle Sync mask signals the crowd.
*DING DING DING*
Freddy D'oh - And Kyle Sync Mask goes right at the doctor... He sentons into the ground, as if Jobaroonie ever tried a back body drop!
MVA - And Jobaroonie has grabbed Kyle Sync Mask's hand... He low-blows himself! Once! Twice! Three times!
FD - Jobaroonie falls to the ground, in pain... Kyle Sync Mask grabs his hand...
MVA - He pretends an arm drag! Look at that, he's in pain...He flips again and HITS THE TURNBUCKLE!
FD - But Jobaroonie isn't done yet...He's heading towards the ropes... FLIPPING OVER THE ROPES! INTO THE GROUND! INTO THE GROUND!
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask exits the ring, looking for more...He's grabbing a steel chair and he is going to hit his opponent with it, to lose!
FD - But Dr. Jobaroonie isn't done either, look out... SHOOTING STAR PRESS! INTO THE JUDGES' TABLE! OH MY GOD, GOD ALMIGHTY, JESUS CHRIST! I FARTED!
MVA - The referee has started the count of ten, both men aren't going anywhere!
1...
2...
3...
4...
´
FD - Kyle Sync Mask isn't going anywhere here!
5...
MVA - And Dr. Jobarronie has fully recovered but he isn't going anywhere either!
6...
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask I rolls Dr. Jobaroonie into the ring!
FD - And Dr. Jobaroonie pulls him inside aswell! No one is going to win this via countout!
MVA - Wait a second, Dr. Jobaroonie isnt' going to get up, Kyle Sync Mask might win this via knockout!
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask has grabbed Jobaroonie's leg to stop the count!
FD - And wait a minute... DR. JOBAROONIE HAS TAPPED OUT! HE'S TAPPED OUT TO KYLE SYNC MASK GRABBING HIS LEG!!!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here's your winner... Kyle Sync Mask ONE!!!
MVA - And what will be the Judges' Decision?!
There's some time as the judges come to a decision.
FD - And our judges have decided!
The results show up in a small TV Screen.
Kyle Sync Mask I - Points:
1 - Losing the match - 0 out of 50 points.
2 - Taking hard bumps - 4 out of 10 points.
3 - Getting owned like a ragdoll - 14 out of 20 points
4 - Overselling - 5,5 out of 6 points.
5 - No Selling - 0 out of 6 points
6 - Looking Gay - 8 out of 8 points.
Result - 35,5 out of 100 points.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Points:
1 - Losing the match - 50 out of 50 points.
2 - Taking hard bumps - 9 out of 10 points.
3 - Getting owned like a ragdoll - 14 out of 20 points.
4 - Overselling - 3 out of 6 points.
5 - No Selling - 2,5 out of 6 points.
6 - Looking Gay - 1 out of 8 points.
Result - 79,5 out of 100 points.
Ring Announcer - By a difference of FOURTY points, your NEW JOBBER'S CHAMPION... DOCTOR JOBBAROONIE!!!
A referee awards a title with a huge red J on it to Doctor Jobaroonie. He drops to his knees and raises the title in the midst of tears, as we go to a break.
____________________________________
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
A sound of glass shattering as the crowd goes absoutely crazy. The rest of Stone Cold's music plays as the crowd jumps in total insanity. A fridge with various stickers from brands of beer comes in.
FD - Stone Cold is in there? STONE COLD IS IN THERE! He's coming in a fridge! I expect beer from everyone!
MVA - This shows everyone how brave he is!
The fridge arrives to the ring.
Ring Announcer - And his opponent... The Great One... THEE ROOCCKKKK!!!
The crowd goes wild once again as a truck with the Brahama Bull's logo in it arrives to the scene.
FD - And The Rock's coming on a truck!
*DING DING DING*
At the same time, The Rock's truck and Stone Cold's fridge are open and inside there are...rocks and stones?
FD - What the hell?
Two stagehands throw the rock and the cold stone against each other at the same time.
MVA - AWH MAH GAWD! LOOK AT THE IMPACT!
A referee checks in both objects. He checks in the cold stone, which is slightly damaged, and calls for the bell.
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here is your winner... and the NEW HUMAN'S FORBIDDEN CHAMPION... THE ROCK!!!
FD - It was all better than those pissants!
MVA - THE Rock is our new Human's Forbidden Champion... And we'll come back with Richie Nash vs Mr. Fatass... In Three Sides Of Rust! Stay tuned!
*Useless break where no commercials are shown, because this isn't on TV*
________________________________________
FD - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Wednesday Night Stink, and here comes Richie Nash!
"We want Kyle" by Richie Nash plays as Richie Nash comes out. He's wearing a Kyle Sync T-Shirt. He enters the ring with a mic to adress the crowd.
Richie - WE WANT KYLE!
Sarcastic applause by the audience.
Richie - I LOVE KYLE! I love his body, his hair, his head, his face, EVERYTHING! I LOVE HIM! Give it to me, came on! KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!
The crowd doesn't bother answering.
I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred quickly plays. Pyro starts raining everywhere, and neon letters write the letters "The president has arrived" around the ring. Dozens of Broadway dancers dance around as the president arrives in a limo. The driver exits and opens his door, and the president enters the ring. He grabs a mic.
Mr. Fatass - Welcome to Journey Of Bullshit Wrestling, LIVE from my mother's backyard in Orlando, Florida!
The crowd pops to the mention of their location.
Mr. Fatass - So, I wanted to make everyone happy. I don't have that much money,so this brutal, awesome, death-defying THREE SIDES OF RUST MATCH IS ALL WHAT IT MATTERS TO...
*AIR HORN*
Mr. Fatass - What the...
*THREE AIR HORNS*
Mr. Fatass - Would you shut the f...
*FIVE AIR HORNS*
Mr. Fatass - This is my moment of g...
Voice w/ Megaphone - Knock knock, who's there! I.C. Shit!
Mr. Fatass - Don't make me call the power of ch...
*AIR HORN*
Mr. Fatass - That's it. Come to this ring!
Five guys with airhorns, one of them also carrying a megaphone, jump the barricade.
Mr. Fatass - What are your names?
Guy #1 - Mike Hawk.
Guy #2 - Mike Hunt.
Guy #3 - Mike Litoris.
Guy #4 - Ben Dover.
Guy #5 - Master Bate.
All - THE AIR HORN SQUAD!
All of them air horn again.
Mr. Fatass - Okay, so would you please sit down and let me wrestle?
Mike Hawk - Okay, okay, we'll do it...
Kyle Sync Mask I - Hey! Shut up!
Kyle Sync Mask I, Dr. Jobaroonie, Shawn "I Screw Babyfaces" Reid, Chris "I Screw Heels" West and Adam Davidson come in.
Dr. Jobaroonie - The Jobbers & Referees Society would like to challenge you to a match!
Mike Hawk - Wait a sec... That isn't on the script.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Yes it is...
Mike Hawk (checking a script) - You're right, it is. WE ACCEPT!
Kyle Sync Mask I lays down behind Dr. Jobaroonie, which starts stepping back.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Then get your asses ready, misters, 'cause we're going to bring our A-Game to...
Dr. Jobaroonie steps on Kyle Sync Mask I. Shawn Reid quickly counts the pinfall.
1...
2...
3!
Ring Announcer - By 50 to 0, here's your NEW JOBBER'S CHAMPION... KYLE SYNC MASK I!!!!!!!!
FD - He's done it! BAWH GAWHD, HE'S DONE IT!
Kyle Sync I grabs the belt and runs away.
Ring Announcer - Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the THREE SIDES OF RUST MATCH!
A horde of stagehands pull some steel walls up and the match is on.
FD - And Richie Nash and Mr. Fatass are brawling!
MVA - Richie Nash tries to take down Mr. Fatass, but fails! Again! Again!
FD - Mr. Fatass irishwhips Richie Nash into the cage... And Richie Nash is climbing it!
MVA - But he's getting rust in his hands! Oh my god, can he fully climb the cage or will he be disgusted?!
FD - Mr. Fatass grabbed a mic!
Mr. Fatass - Kyle Sync's behind me!
FD - And Richie Nash... SPLASH FROM THE STEEL CAGE! HE WANTS KYLE SYNC!
MVA - And he crashes into the mat! BAH GAWD THE IMPACT!
FD - And Mr. Fatass goes right at climbing the cage...
MVA - He's going to win this fucking match!
FD - But the cage... What the hell...
The cage falls back, unsuporting Mr. Fatass' weight. He goes throughout a window.
FD - BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY! HE'S GONE TO HIS MOTHER'S BATHROOM!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - The winner of the bout, via escaping the cage... MISTER FATASS!
Mr. Fatass' theme plays as he raises his hand full of shards of glass.
MVA - MAH GAWD EXTREMITY!
FD - That's what we get for not hiring experienced stagehands! We'll be right back after we clean this mess!
*Break*
Ring Announcer - The following contest is the Managers Brawl For Nothing match!
The Ass Kisser is already on the ring, on his fine tuxedo suit.
FD - And here comes The Mega Meathead!
The Mega Meathead is about to enter the ring. As he slides under the bottom rope. The ring falls.
FD - BAWH GAWHD INSANITY!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Your winner, via too much fatness... THE ASS KISSER!
MVA - That was quick.
FD - We'll be back again as soon as the ring is fixed!
*Break*
The scene opens backstage with a stagehand.
Stagehand - Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Evan Morgan, and we are here with the ROULETTE!
The small crowd roars as a roulette is filmed. It has only four spaces, one in black, one in white, one in grey and the other one in red.
Morgan - There are only four spaces in this roulette... The red one leads to a Cheese and Mask on a Pole match, where a Batman mask and a piece of Cheese will be hanging in poles, the first man to get both wins. The black one is The Cheese Invasion match, which has to ocurr in the Cheese Playground, and we would have to transport our wrestlers there and waste oil. The grey one is a Comic Book Match, where only Comic Books are allowed... And finally, the white one is a Fatmobile vs Cheesemobile - BAH GAWD, I HOPE IT ISN'T THIS ONE - Match. So, let's spin the roulette!
Evan spins the roulette. The ball finally stops in the black one.
Morgan - Oh no... IT'S THE CHEESE INVASION MATCH!
The crowd, unaware of what it is, pops huge!
Morgan - I'll now ask Juan Carlos Batman and Mr. McCheese to get in the cars, we're driving to the [Sinister voice] Cheese Playground.
Voice - PERO ¿PORQUE UN COCHE?!
The crowd turns into Mr. Fatass' mother's house. Juan Carlos Batman looks to the people below, with a confident smile, his cape wavering to the wind.
JCB - Me gusta más... VOLAR!
Juan Carlos Batman opens his arms and dives off the house. He hits the floor jaw-first and is knocked out unconscious.
FD - Mah gawd insanity! GAWD GAWD GAWD! CHUCK NORRIS!
Morgan -. Eh... Call an ambulance and drive him to the Cheese Playground, he'll be awaken when we get there. Hey Steve, have you called the tanks already?
A stagehand nods.
FD - Tanks? What the hell... IT'S THE RUSSIAN INVASION! JESUS CHRIST, WORLD WHAR THREEE! BAH GAWD RUN FOR THE THREE WISE MEN!
Morgan - Relax, Freddy.
War tanks drive through the street. Some soldiers wrap chain around the body of Mr. McCheese and lock it to six war tanks. The tanks start driving slowly, handling the huge weight of Mr. McCheese.
MVA - We'll have to get our asses inside a car, and so will the fans! We'll be back in five hours, when we get to the destination!
*Break for 5 hours*
The scene fades in to a dark night. Three fans are chanting and watching Mr. McCheese and Juan Carlos Batman, who had just recently waken up, coming toe to toe. They are surrounded by huge walls of cheese.
FD - We're back! Finally!
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall... And it is for THE MOST FUCKING IMPORTANT CHAMPIONSHIP EVER!
*DING DING DING*
FD - And Juan Carlos Batman is running... GORE! THROUGH THE CHEESE WALL! THROUGH THE CHEESE WALL!
MVA - I think Mr. McCheese is getting excited with the cheese... He's eating it!
FD- HE'S CHEESIN' AND MCCHEESIN'! BAWH GAWD LOOK AT HIS BELLY!
MVA - He's getting fatter...
FD - HE'S NOT HOLDING HIMSELF ON HIS TWO FEET... HE FALLS BACK! GAWSHNESS!
MVA - Cover!
1...
2...
3!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here's your winner, and NEW...
The ring announcer checks his clock.
Ring Announcer - Sorry, my time is up here. Gotta go announcing in BAMMA!
FD - BAWH GAWDNESS... The NEW TEE-EMM-EFF-EYE-CEE-EEE CHAMPION... Juan Carlos Batman!
Juan Carlos Batman grabs the title and raises it high above his head.
JCB - TO THE FATMOBILE!!!
JCB runs into an old Ford car and opens the door. He slowly drives away, honking, as the scene fades to black.
End of Stink.
Ring Announcer - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first edition of Journey Of Bu...
Of a sudden, the mic stops working. An embarassed stagehand quickly gives him another.
Ring Announcer - Welcome to Journey Of Bullshit Wrestling's Wednesday Night Stink!
The crowd slowly claps, bored.
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall... And it is for the JOBBER'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing the judges, first... Mr. Fatass' mother Linda!
The crowd doesn't react.
Ring Announcer - Experienced jobbing judge... William Irvine!
Two or three people clap.
Ring Announcer - Experienced ventriloquist, Mike Evers with a Kanye West puppet!
The crowd, distracted, cheers to the mention of Kanye West.
Ring Announcer - Introducing the challengers... From New York City... DOCTOR JOBAROONIE!
A guy in a doctor's costume signals the crowd, inside the ring. Another guy enters without anyone noticing.
Ring Announcer - And from Miami, FL... Kyle Sync Mask ONE!!!!
A guy with a Kyle Sync mask signals the crowd.
*DING DING DING*
Freddy D'oh - And Kyle Sync Mask goes right at the doctor... He sentons into the ground, as if Jobaroonie ever tried a back body drop!
MVA - And Jobaroonie has grabbed Kyle Sync Mask's hand... He low-blows himself! Once! Twice! Three times!
FD - Jobaroonie falls to the ground, in pain... Kyle Sync Mask grabs his hand...
MVA - He pretends an arm drag! Look at that, he's in pain...He flips again and HITS THE TURNBUCKLE!
FD - But Jobaroonie isn't done yet...He's heading towards the ropes... FLIPPING OVER THE ROPES! INTO THE GROUND! INTO THE GROUND!
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask exits the ring, looking for more...He's grabbing a steel chair and he is going to hit his opponent with it, to lose!
FD - But Dr. Jobaroonie isn't done either, look out... SHOOTING STAR PRESS! INTO THE JUDGES' TABLE! OH MY GOD, GOD ALMIGHTY, JESUS CHRIST! I FARTED!
MVA - The referee has started the count of ten, both men aren't going anywhere!
1...
2...
3...
4...
´
FD - Kyle Sync Mask isn't going anywhere here!
5...
MVA - And Dr. Jobarronie has fully recovered but he isn't going anywhere either!
6...
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask I rolls Dr. Jobaroonie into the ring!
FD - And Dr. Jobaroonie pulls him inside aswell! No one is going to win this via countout!
MVA - Wait a second, Dr. Jobaroonie isnt' going to get up, Kyle Sync Mask might win this via knockout!
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
MVA - Kyle Sync Mask has grabbed Jobaroonie's leg to stop the count!
FD - And wait a minute... DR. JOBAROONIE HAS TAPPED OUT! HE'S TAPPED OUT TO KYLE SYNC MASK GRABBING HIS LEG!!!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here's your winner... Kyle Sync Mask ONE!!!
MVA - And what will be the Judges' Decision?!
There's some time as the judges come to a decision.
FD - And our judges have decided!
The results show up in a small TV Screen.
Kyle Sync Mask I - Points:
1 - Losing the match - 0 out of 50 points.
2 - Taking hard bumps - 4 out of 10 points.
3 - Getting owned like a ragdoll - 14 out of 20 points
4 - Overselling - 5,5 out of 6 points.
5 - No Selling - 0 out of 6 points
6 - Looking Gay - 8 out of 8 points.
Result - 35,5 out of 100 points.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Points:
1 - Losing the match - 50 out of 50 points.
2 - Taking hard bumps - 9 out of 10 points.
3 - Getting owned like a ragdoll - 14 out of 20 points.
4 - Overselling - 3 out of 6 points.
5 - No Selling - 2,5 out of 6 points.
6 - Looking Gay - 1 out of 8 points.
Result - 79,5 out of 100 points.
Ring Announcer - By a difference of FOURTY points, your NEW JOBBER'S CHAMPION... DOCTOR JOBBAROONIE!!!
A referee awards a title with a huge red J on it to Doctor Jobaroonie. He drops to his knees and raises the title in the midst of tears, as we go to a break.
____________________________________
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
A sound of glass shattering as the crowd goes absoutely crazy. The rest of Stone Cold's music plays as the crowd jumps in total insanity. A fridge with various stickers from brands of beer comes in.
FD - Stone Cold is in there? STONE COLD IS IN THERE! He's coming in a fridge! I expect beer from everyone!
MVA - This shows everyone how brave he is!
The fridge arrives to the ring.
Ring Announcer - And his opponent... The Great One... THEE ROOCCKKKK!!!
The crowd goes wild once again as a truck with the Brahama Bull's logo in it arrives to the scene.
FD - And The Rock's coming on a truck!
*DING DING DING*
At the same time, The Rock's truck and Stone Cold's fridge are open and inside there are...rocks and stones?
FD - What the hell?
Two stagehands throw the rock and the cold stone against each other at the same time.
MVA - AWH MAH GAWD! LOOK AT THE IMPACT!
A referee checks in both objects. He checks in the cold stone, which is slightly damaged, and calls for the bell.
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here is your winner... and the NEW HUMAN'S FORBIDDEN CHAMPION... THE ROCK!!!
FD - It was all better than those pissants!
MVA - THE Rock is our new Human's Forbidden Champion... And we'll come back with Richie Nash vs Mr. Fatass... In Three Sides Of Rust! Stay tuned!
*Useless break where no commercials are shown, because this isn't on TV*
________________________________________
FD - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Wednesday Night Stink, and here comes Richie Nash!
"We want Kyle" by Richie Nash plays as Richie Nash comes out. He's wearing a Kyle Sync T-Shirt. He enters the ring with a mic to adress the crowd.
Richie - WE WANT KYLE!
Sarcastic applause by the audience.
Richie - I LOVE KYLE! I love his body, his hair, his head, his face, EVERYTHING! I LOVE HIM! Give it to me, came on! KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!
The crowd doesn't bother answering.
I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred quickly plays. Pyro starts raining everywhere, and neon letters write the letters "The president has arrived" around the ring. Dozens of Broadway dancers dance around as the president arrives in a limo. The driver exits and opens his door, and the president enters the ring. He grabs a mic.
Mr. Fatass - Welcome to Journey Of Bullshit Wrestling, LIVE from my mother's backyard in Orlando, Florida!
The crowd pops to the mention of their location.
Mr. Fatass - So, I wanted to make everyone happy. I don't have that much money,so this brutal, awesome, death-defying THREE SIDES OF RUST MATCH IS ALL WHAT IT MATTERS TO...
*AIR HORN*
Mr. Fatass - What the...
*THREE AIR HORNS*
Mr. Fatass - Would you shut the f...
*FIVE AIR HORNS*
Mr. Fatass - This is my moment of g...
Voice w/ Megaphone - Knock knock, who's there! I.C. Shit!
Mr. Fatass - Don't make me call the power of ch...
*AIR HORN*
Mr. Fatass - That's it. Come to this ring!
Five guys with airhorns, one of them also carrying a megaphone, jump the barricade.
Mr. Fatass - What are your names?
Guy #1 - Mike Hawk.
Guy #2 - Mike Hunt.
Guy #3 - Mike Litoris.
Guy #4 - Ben Dover.
Guy #5 - Master Bate.
All - THE AIR HORN SQUAD!
All of them air horn again.
Mr. Fatass - Okay, so would you please sit down and let me wrestle?
Mike Hawk - Okay, okay, we'll do it...
Kyle Sync Mask I - Hey! Shut up!
Kyle Sync Mask I, Dr. Jobaroonie, Shawn "I Screw Babyfaces" Reid, Chris "I Screw Heels" West and Adam Davidson come in.
Dr. Jobaroonie - The Jobbers & Referees Society would like to challenge you to a match!
Mike Hawk - Wait a sec... That isn't on the script.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Yes it is...
Mike Hawk (checking a script) - You're right, it is. WE ACCEPT!
Kyle Sync Mask I lays down behind Dr. Jobaroonie, which starts stepping back.
Dr. Jobaroonie - Then get your asses ready, misters, 'cause we're going to bring our A-Game to...
Dr. Jobaroonie steps on Kyle Sync Mask I. Shawn Reid quickly counts the pinfall.
1...
2...
3!
Ring Announcer - By 50 to 0, here's your NEW JOBBER'S CHAMPION... KYLE SYNC MASK I!!!!!!!!
FD - He's done it! BAWH GAWHD, HE'S DONE IT!
Kyle Sync I grabs the belt and runs away.
Ring Announcer - Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the THREE SIDES OF RUST MATCH!
A horde of stagehands pull some steel walls up and the match is on.
FD - And Richie Nash and Mr. Fatass are brawling!
MVA - Richie Nash tries to take down Mr. Fatass, but fails! Again! Again!
FD - Mr. Fatass irishwhips Richie Nash into the cage... And Richie Nash is climbing it!
MVA - But he's getting rust in his hands! Oh my god, can he fully climb the cage or will he be disgusted?!
FD - Mr. Fatass grabbed a mic!
Mr. Fatass - Kyle Sync's behind me!
FD - And Richie Nash... SPLASH FROM THE STEEL CAGE! HE WANTS KYLE SYNC!
MVA - And he crashes into the mat! BAH GAWD THE IMPACT!
FD - And Mr. Fatass goes right at climbing the cage...
MVA - He's going to win this fucking match!
FD - But the cage... What the hell...
The cage falls back, unsuporting Mr. Fatass' weight. He goes throughout a window.
FD - BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY! HE'S GONE TO HIS MOTHER'S BATHROOM!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - The winner of the bout, via escaping the cage... MISTER FATASS!
Mr. Fatass' theme plays as he raises his hand full of shards of glass.
MVA - MAH GAWD EXTREMITY!
FD - That's what we get for not hiring experienced stagehands! We'll be right back after we clean this mess!
*Break*
Ring Announcer - The following contest is the Managers Brawl For Nothing match!
The Ass Kisser is already on the ring, on his fine tuxedo suit.
FD - And here comes The Mega Meathead!
The Mega Meathead is about to enter the ring. As he slides under the bottom rope. The ring falls.
FD - BAWH GAWHD INSANITY!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Your winner, via too much fatness... THE ASS KISSER!
MVA - That was quick.
FD - We'll be back again as soon as the ring is fixed!
*Break*
The scene opens backstage with a stagehand.
Stagehand - Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Evan Morgan, and we are here with the ROULETTE!
The small crowd roars as a roulette is filmed. It has only four spaces, one in black, one in white, one in grey and the other one in red.
Morgan - There are only four spaces in this roulette... The red one leads to a Cheese and Mask on a Pole match, where a Batman mask and a piece of Cheese will be hanging in poles, the first man to get both wins. The black one is The Cheese Invasion match, which has to ocurr in the Cheese Playground, and we would have to transport our wrestlers there and waste oil. The grey one is a Comic Book Match, where only Comic Books are allowed... And finally, the white one is a Fatmobile vs Cheesemobile - BAH GAWD, I HOPE IT ISN'T THIS ONE - Match. So, let's spin the roulette!
Evan spins the roulette. The ball finally stops in the black one.
Morgan - Oh no... IT'S THE CHEESE INVASION MATCH!
The crowd, unaware of what it is, pops huge!
Morgan - I'll now ask Juan Carlos Batman and Mr. McCheese to get in the cars, we're driving to the [Sinister voice] Cheese Playground.
Voice - PERO ¿PORQUE UN COCHE?!
The crowd turns into Mr. Fatass' mother's house. Juan Carlos Batman looks to the people below, with a confident smile, his cape wavering to the wind.
JCB - Me gusta más... VOLAR!
Juan Carlos Batman opens his arms and dives off the house. He hits the floor jaw-first and is knocked out unconscious.
FD - Mah gawd insanity! GAWD GAWD GAWD! CHUCK NORRIS!
Morgan -. Eh... Call an ambulance and drive him to the Cheese Playground, he'll be awaken when we get there. Hey Steve, have you called the tanks already?
A stagehand nods.
FD - Tanks? What the hell... IT'S THE RUSSIAN INVASION! JESUS CHRIST, WORLD WHAR THREEE! BAH GAWD RUN FOR THE THREE WISE MEN!
Morgan - Relax, Freddy.
War tanks drive through the street. Some soldiers wrap chain around the body of Mr. McCheese and lock it to six war tanks. The tanks start driving slowly, handling the huge weight of Mr. McCheese.
MVA - We'll have to get our asses inside a car, and so will the fans! We'll be back in five hours, when we get to the destination!
*Break for 5 hours*
The scene fades in to a dark night. Three fans are chanting and watching Mr. McCheese and Juan Carlos Batman, who had just recently waken up, coming toe to toe. They are surrounded by huge walls of cheese.
FD - We're back! Finally!
Ring Announcer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall... And it is for THE MOST FUCKING IMPORTANT CHAMPIONSHIP EVER!
*DING DING DING*
FD - And Juan Carlos Batman is running... GORE! THROUGH THE CHEESE WALL! THROUGH THE CHEESE WALL!
MVA - I think Mr. McCheese is getting excited with the cheese... He's eating it!
FD- HE'S CHEESIN' AND MCCHEESIN'! BAWH GAWD LOOK AT HIS BELLY!
MVA - He's getting fatter...
FD - HE'S NOT HOLDING HIMSELF ON HIS TWO FEET... HE FALLS BACK! GAWSHNESS!
MVA - Cover!
1...
2...
3!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer - Here's your winner, and NEW...
The ring announcer checks his clock.
Ring Announcer - Sorry, my time is up here. Gotta go announcing in BAMMA!
FD - BAWH GAWDNESS... The NEW TEE-EMM-EFF-EYE-CEE-EEE CHAMPION... Juan Carlos Batman!
Juan Carlos Batman grabs the title and raises it high above his head.
JCB - TO THE FATMOBILE!!!
JCB runs into an old Ford car and opens the door. He slowly drives away, honking, as the scene fades to black.
End of Stink.